As a kid, I was always whole
we all are
I was kind, sensitive, loving
lovely
As a kid, I was told I was broken
we all are
playing “futbol” will help, my mom said
it will help you toughen up
The soccer practice bus arrived
like a cage from the zoo
sweat, casual aggression, mockery
ready for a lonely ride
My palms cry for me since I can’t
it’s hard to see my thoughts
with this jungle of fear around
how is this supposed to be fun?
Step into the court
patriarchal masculinity is the judge
I don’t want to be aggressive or fight
How is this supposed to be fun?
All the players, ready to testify
kicking, pushing, yelling
making sure I know
I’m guilty as charged
The soccer practice bus stops
Outside my house, the verdict is clear
not aggressive, fast, or good enough
guilty as charged
Cruel sentence for a little boy
years of feeling broken
assuming that what makes him - him-
makes him weak, must man up
To little Efrain I say
you are guilty my child but be proud
guilty of being soft, sensitive, loving
no need to toughen up
Soften up, little Efrain, be your own judge
live your own version of masculinity
move with ease, care, and grace
lovely, lovely, lovely man you are
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